Bad Boys Get Spanked (F/m)

[goodgulf]

I thought I had posted this, but I can't find it (even on my log). More after the story.


Bad Boys Get Spanked (F/m)

Alex knew that he wasn't supposed to be here. He knew it, but he didn't care. And by the state of the main fence, no one else cared much either. At least not enough to do a good job with the fence. Of course it wasn't his first time on this estate; the grounds were open for scheduled tours but there was no way he would take another one of those. Not after that last time. Not after the tour got re-routed from the flower garden (where they were spraying for bugs) into the hedge maze.

A hedge maze could be fun, but being guided to the centre of it - where was the fun in that? Then they got to middle of the maze and Alex got an eyeful. There had been nervous chuckles, but Alex had ignored them. The guide had said something about nymphs frolicking, but Alex knew what he was looking: naked women.

Statues of naked women, which somehow seemed so much better than mere pictures of them. Unlike pictures, these were three dimensional. If he walked over there he could run his hands over those bodies. They would hard, unyielding stone rather than soft warm flesh, but Alex knew he could live with that small difference.

But there was no way he was going to touch one of them on a tour. He'd look like a perv if he did that. Besides, the guide had nattered on about how old these statues were and how they were protected by some heritage law. As if a law had ever stopped anyone from doing anything!

There was a law that said you couldn't drink if you were underaged, but Alex drank - he was drinking right now.

There was a law that said you couldn't jump fences and wander on other people's property, but just Alex did it.

So who cared if there was a law that said you couldn't touch those statues? As soon as Alex found the centre of this hedge maze, he was going to do just that. Of course he would have been through the maze faster if he wasn't lunging the remains of a six pack and processing the rest through his kidneys. Stopping now and then to water the plants, that took a bit of time.

Finally, he reached the centre of the hedge maze. Grinning, Alex walked over to the nearest statue and ran his hand over its perfectly formed right breast. It was a thing of beauty, a masterpiece, but more importantly it was how a boob would feel. Dropping the six pack of beer, Alex ran his other hand lower on the statue's body. Then he undid his belt and opened his jeans.

"You're not supposed to do that!"

The woman's stern voice broke through Alex's beer soaked brain. Turning, he discovered that he wasn't alone. That he overlooked a fierce looking woman. A woman who could only be Ms. Hynde, the woman who owned the estate.

"You know you're not allowed to, but you seem to get some kind of kick out of doing what you're not allowed to." Ms. Hynde thundered, gesturing to the discarded six pack,

"Like the cops care." Alex snorted, wondering how deep he was in it. He was in shit, but was it waist deep or neck high?

"You deliberately defy the rules 'cause the law's upheld by fools. Well shit on that." Ms. Hynde spat out, dismissing his attitude. Then she slammed the back of her right hand in to the palm of her left hand. Slammed it hard. "Bad boys get spanked."

Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing. She couldn't mean it, could she?

"But I was only running my hands..."

"You can look but don't touch. But no you can't resist. Don't you ever think about the consequence? Guys like you never do." Ms. Hynde said smugly, then pointed at some bird droppings near one of the decorative fountains. "That's the kind of stuff boys are made out of, that's the kind of stuff girls are made out of. "

"Um..."

Ms. Hynde smacked the palm of her hand again.

"Bad boys get spanked." Ms. Hynde said, looking at Alex like he was pond scum. For emphasis, she repeated: "Bad boys get spanked."

"Look, maybe I shouldn't be here, but that doesn't give you the right to..."

"You don't listen do you asshole?" Ms. Hynde interrupted. "Don't be a punk all your life. Someone's gonna sort you out. They'll try to make a man out of you. Say yes sir, say no sir. Say yes ma'am, say no ma'am."

"But no one can make me..."

"Shit on that. Bad boys get spanked."

"But no one can..."

"Bad boys get spanked." Ms. Hynde repeated, moving towards a stone bench.

Watching her move, Alex wondered which of them had been drinking more. From her walk she was clearly feeling no pain. Not that she was stumbling, not quite, but Alex knew what a drunk woman looked like when she moved. His mom moved like that all the time.

"Get spanked." Ms. Hynde muttered, sitting on the bench. "Get spanked."

"But you can't just..."

"Come here." Ms. Hynde said, patting her lap. "Get spanked."

Alex stared at her. His jeans were already open; they would probably slide down if he walked over there. Then there just be his underwear between him and this outraged woman.

"Bad boys get spanked." Ms. Hynde repeated.

Alex turned and ran. His beer forgotten, he staggered off into the hedge maze. Almost tripped as his jeans shifted down, then actually tripping as they bunched at his knees. Scrambling on his hands and knees until he was well out of sight of that mad woman. Barely daring to slow as he searched for the entrance to the maze.

"Come here." Ms. Hynde called imperiously behind him. "Get spanked!"

Her voice haunted Alex. Taunting him to return. To face the music for what he had down.

"Fuck that." Alex muttered, searching for the way out.


The cops picked him up about fifteen minutes later. Not that Alex blamed them; he was weaving as he walked on the side of the road. When he proclaimed that he was sober the officers just snorted and asked where his jeans were.

Damn the police and their trick questions. Alex knew the answer to that one, but knowing the answer wouldn't help him. If he didn't know where his jeans were he was drunk and disorderly, but if he told them he'd left them in the hedge maze he would be picked up for trespass. And maybe charged with molesting a protected statue. And he might have to face Ms. Hynde again; he preferred the drunk tank to seeing that woman when his buns were only covered by a thin layer of underwear.


The next morning, after the cops let him go (generously letting him keep a pair of jailhouse pants), Alex wasn't really sure what had happened. Had a strange woman really threatened him with a spanking? Just for touching her statues?


A week later, Alex had most of a six pack inside him (and was wearing the rest) when he stumbled over the fence. Reaching the maze, he staggered through it with his right hand running across the right hand wall of the hedge maze. When he reached the centre, Alex paused. He had intended to kneel but somehow ending up sitting on his ass as he clumsily tied his shoelaces together. He had gotten extra long laces for his sneakers, but there wasn't much slack to work with after the knot was tied. While he was down there, Alex undid his belt and unsnapped the front of his jeans.

Then he was hobbling towards the nymph statues. He didn't know if Ms. Hynde was in the maze, or if she had been drinking again tonight, or what might happen. He planned to jerk off on a statue, but Alex told himself that he didn't know what the future held. Whatever happened, Alex knew one thing: he wasn't running away. Not with his shoes tied together.


When he eventually made his way home, Alex knew a second thing. That Ms. Hynde had been right.

Bad boys get spanked.

Goodgulf

[goodgulf]

This story was experiment for me as I only wrote part of the dialogue. All of Ms. Hynde words were from a song by The Pretenders and sang by the amazing Chrissie Hynde. You can find that song on Youtube and the lyrics are, word for word, what Ms. Hynde says in the story.

Yes, I had to make her drunk because the song repeats itself so much.

Anyway, here are the lyrics that I built the story around.

Bad boys get spanked.

You're not supposed to do that
You know you're not allowed to
But you seem to get some kind of kick
Out of doing what you're not allowed to
You deliberately defy the rules
'cause the law's upheld by fools
Shit on that
Bad boys get spanked

You can look but don't touch
But no you can't resist
Don't you ever think about the consequence
Guys like you never do
That's the kind of stuff boys are made out of
That's the kind of stuff girls are made out of
Bad boys get spanked
Bad boys get spanked

You don't listen do you asshole
Don't be a punk all your life
Someone's gonna sort you out
They'll try to make a man out of you
Say yes sir, say no sir
Say yes ma'am, say no m'am
Shit on that
Bad boys get spanked
Bad boys get spanked

Get spanked, get spanked
Come here, get spanked
Bad boys get spanked
Come here, get spanked

Goodgulf

[johncook]

I never liked that song but when she sings it she should grab a boy from the audience and spank him,

[goodgulf]

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

That would be an interesting warning on your ticket: "Warning: those in the first five rows might be dragged from their seats and spanked".

As for the song itself, it's guttural and emotional and easier listened to than explained.

Goodgulf