The Thaw Onto The Freeze - A Nat and Alyssa Story Part Three

[naughtylilgirl09]

The Thaw onto the Freeze – A Nat and Alyssa Story
Part Three

“Is there anyway we cannot talk about this now,” Alyssa asked him.

“No,” Nat replied, setting down the potato and potato peeler. “Now spill it, young lady. And I mean now.” When she looked like she was about to begin talking, he went back to working on that blasted potato.

“Um,” he saw her start to squirm. “Well, no, not exactly. He threatened to, though. After he lectured forever about how I nearly threw my whole career away. He said that he was going to make sure that I stayed in line while I was working there. And, well, so I mean, when I got to work the next day I was supposed to go see him first thing, which I did. This guy, Chris, from the Office of General Counsel, the lawyers, was there.”

She paused and looked at him, a pause which Nat noticed, but did not comment about. He merely raised his eyebrows and continued his work. “They asked me to sign a bunch of forms, like disclaimers and liability forms and stuff. Well, more like Director Snyder told me that I had to sign them, that he was going to be my mentor and keep an eye on me and make sure I didn’t mess up my career potential again. And, that if it meant putting me in time out or other alternative – ey type things, that he would do so.”

At that, Nat raised his eyebrows in question and chuckled at the same time. “You bring out the same reaction in people wherever you go apparently.

While her color had gone back down to normal, or close to her what her skin tone was, his comment caused her blush to come back. “I don’t know. I mean, I have a feeling that I’ll find out more details in the coming days. It was just really weird, I got put in time out…at work.”

Nat tossed the last potato into the pot of water, finally having finished all of them as he said, “well, I’d wager time out is better than being fired or jail time, right?” Alyssa nodded her agreement to that one. She wasn’t sure how she’d do in jail. She’d either get killed within the first day or two, or she’d have the run of the place within the week. But she wasn’t anxious to find out which.

Sitting at the table, both her legs drawn up to her chest, Alyssa found that despite the familiarity of everything, she still felt shy and awkward. She wasn’t sure why, over the past few weeks she’d sat at this table dozens of times. It couldn’t be due to the fact that she was going to get a spanking, at least she didn’t think so. After all, over the last few weeks, that had happened plenty of times as well. However, there she was, perched on the chair, her arms hugging her knees to her chest, a very protective type stance. It was as if everything was new again.

She watched as Nat took the large pan of potatoes over to the stove, setting it down on the back burner and turning on the gas flame. Alyssa just watched as he put in a few different seasonings, adjusted the heat and then covered the large pot, letting it cook. That obviously wasn’t going to be dinner, which was probably good because she really didn’t need any more carbs in her system. Even though she loved potatoes. She was hungry, though, and knew that if she went too long without eating she’d get irritable and that would get her into trouble.

Her eyes were following his every move, and while he could probably tell, Alyssa wasn’t even trying to hide it at this moment. She was feeling that strange weirdness of being back here again and wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. So, if she possibly was giving Nat the jitters because she was watching everything that he did, that was the least of her worries.

He had retrieved two bowls from the cabinet next to the sink, and crossing back over to the stove, was filling them with something that smelled delicious from another saucepan. She assumed it was soup. Two minutes later when a bowl of steaming hot tomato basil soup was set in front of her, she was proven correct.

Nat watched as she took a spoonful of the soup, blew on it in an attempt to cool it off, before bringing the spoon to her lips and swallowing the creamy substance. Obviously it was still a bit hot because she choked on it. Nat held back his smile, as he clapped her on the back a few times, making sure that the hot liquid went down. “You all right,” he asked her when her coughing stopped. She just nodded, but didn’t quite manage to look at him. A fact that was not lost on him. “How about an ice cube for that soup,” he asked, already getting up to retrieve one.

A few minutes later he was back at the table, dropping two ice cubes into the still boiling hot soup. Taking the spoon from Alyssa’s hand, he carefully began to stir the mixture in an attempt to get it to cool down a bit. She seemed hesitant, apprehensive, nervous, and a bit lost in another world. “Alyssa,” he said gently, putting his hand on hers. She jumped a bit. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about what is going on in that head of yours?

When she looked over at him he could tell that she was worried, but he did not yet know why. “What is it sweetheart,” Nat asked her.

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she snapped at him. Nat’s surprise was evident by his raised eyebrows. She wondered if he could tell she was just as surprised. She honestly hadn’t planned to do that. He was just being so nice to her, Alyssa wanted to….well she wasn’t sure. But she was positive he wasn’t going to be this nice the minute she told him about school. Closing her eyes for a minute, she took a deep breath, and then looked over at him and said, “don’t be nice to me, I don’t deserve it.”

It was obvious he was still mad about how she had just spoken to him. Ugh, she really did manage to always get into trouble. The few times Nat did have a facial expression, Alyssa had noticed, it was usually expressed through his eyebrows. If they went up super high, it was surprise. But just up, just raised like most people do for a momentary thought, Nat did that when he was not happy with something and moving towards being angry. His eyebrows had gone from the height of surprise down to that unhappiness height. Alyssa wished they would just go back to where they were supposed to be. Maybe she’d get him some botox for his birthday.

“Okay,” she said to him, trying to think of a way to explain this whole thing. After all, it had only been a week. How do you explain to someone, that you managed to fall behind in classes, in one weeks’ time? Especially when it was a week when you had a whole lot of time on your hands.

Luckily, or not so luckily, she was going to get more time to think up an explanation. While it completely irritated her in the process, Nat cut her off before she could even get two words out.

“Stop,” he said. “Eat your dinner, first.”

He had gone back to eating his, Alyssa noted. While he didn’t have a book, magazine, crossword puzzle or something of the sort with him, he was still maintaining the silence. It would be torture.

She hated silence. It made her nervous.

Just eat your dinner, her brain told her. Despite the fact that, now, she was too nervous to eat, she managed to force spoonfuls of the liquid down her throat and into her stomach. It didn’t sit well. But, hopefully since she was doing as she was told, she’d make up a little for snapping at him?

There was so much still to figure out. All this stuff, rules, and consequences and the like. This whole scenario, which, of course, she was overanalyzing in her mind. She was trying to do as she was told in order to…what? Earn brownie points? What did that even mean? But seriously, it wasn’t like a game, was it? Were there points kept? She knew about demerits. Her uncle used demerits with her cousins. But if it was points or demerits or whatever, that meant there was a prize, right? Or it was a game, which meant that there was an end. That didn’t really seem to be the case. So then, why did she, instinctually do as she was told, and try to be as best as possible, with some thought that it would help compensate for what she had done wrong?

There was a scraping noise that jolted her out of her thoughts. Looking over towards Nat she expected to see him getting up out of his chair, the noise being the chair moving on the floor. But he was still sitting there. She hadn’t moved her chair at all. What was that noise? Nat seemed to notice her confusion and looked pointedly down at her bowl of soup. Glancing down she saw that the correct term would now be ‘bowl’ as she had eaten all the soup while lost in her thoughts. The scraping noise was her spoon against the bottom of the ceramic object.

Glancing up at Nat, once she realized how stupid she must look, Alyssa put the spoon down to rest in the bowl. At this point she wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk without permission. As he had also finished his meal, Nat grabbed her bowl, got up and carried them both to the sink, running some water over them before setting them in there to soak. When he returned to the table Alyssa couldn’t decide if he looked the same or maybe a little less upset.

Nat took a seat at the table, trying to assess Alyssa in one quick glance. It never could be done and he knew it. Still he always attempted. “All right, young lady,” he said to her, his voice stern, “ready to continue our conversation or do you need to spend some time in the corner first?” He watched as the surprise flashed through her eyes, then the anger, but the anger quickly smoldered into hurt, which then vanished quickly into nothing. She was guarding her emotions.

He didn’t say anything, just watched her as she bit her lip, looked down at her lap and then, after a moment, back up at him. “Nat, I’m really sorry I snapped at you like that,” she said.

“All right,” he replied, gesturing for her to continue.

“Like really sorry,” she continued, “I didn’t mean to, I surprised myself, I don’t know where that reaction came from.”

“Alyssa,” Nat said, using what he considered his normal tone. “Thank you for your apology. We’re moving on now.”

She looked crushed. “We are?” she asked him. “That’s it?”

“What else are you expecting there to be?” Nat asked her. “I’m still waiting for you to tell me exactly what is going on.”

“We’re moving on,” Alyssa said slowly, Nat wasn’t able to tell if it was to herself or to him.

“You thanked me for my apology.” He watched as her eyes flicked up to meet his. “That isn’t the same as forgiving me, is it?”

He sighed, and then mentally kicked himself for doing so out loud since he saw Alyssa wince when he did. “No, Alyssa, it isn’t the same thing.”

“So, you’re not…I did something that…and you won’t…”she could get out full sentences, and Nat knew there were tears coming to her eyes that she was trying to hide.

“Alyssa,” Nat said, now using a gentle tone. She was already off in her head, about to work her way up to sobbing. “Alyssa,” he said a bit louder, getting her attention, “look at me.” She turned her head and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall.

“Give me your hand,” Nat said. He noticed the second of reluctance before she held out her hand. He took it in his own and merely embraced it. “Alyssa,” he said again, his tone gentle, caring. He could tell she was now fully out of her own mind and paying attention to him.

“No, sweetheart, it isn’t the same thing. But it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to forgive you,” he told her, watching as a glimmer of happiness appeared in her eyes. He took hold of her other hand and she simultaneously turned a bit more towards him.

“You did not do anything that is unforgiveable. In my book there isn’t much that is unforgiveable. If I or someone thanks you for apologizing, it’s because either myself or whomever, we know that you’ve realized that you made a mistake, acted wrongly and are taking responsibility, showing remorse for your actions, and apologizing. I recognized that, I know that isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Which is why I will always thank you for apologizing. But it may take me, or whomever, a little more time in some situations, before I am ready to say I accept your apology and forgive you. Sometimes people need time. Understand?”

She nodded, and for most part, Nat was sure she understood.

“Ok, good,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze. “Now, what’s going on?”

He watched her eyes grow wide and knew all of her nervousness had come back. On top of that, he had probably made it worse by not forgiving her instantaneously as he typically did. But he was not ready to do so. He was not pleased with her outburst.

“Could you turn around?” Alyssa whispered, her eyes staring past him, giving the general idea that she was looking at him.

“Turn around?” Nat asked, feeling his eyebrows arch up. Why on earth did she want him to turn around?

“I don’t explain things as well, the look, you, I start,” Alyssa tried to explain, but her babbling had already set in. Nat placed his hand on her knee, silencing her.

“I’m going to go wash the dishes,” he told her as he stood up, giving her hair a fond ruffle. As he walked over towards the sink he said, “while I do so, why don’t you talk to me, hmm?”

Nat reached the sink and glanced back towards her. She was still seated at the table, however she gave him a slight nod, indicating that his suggestion would work for her.

Alyssa heard the water start and knew that at some point soon she would have to begin talking. She fixed her gaze on a speck of dirt that she had spotted on the wall and honed in on it, staring at it as if she had the power to make it disappear. If she could keep her eyes fixed on this one place, she might be able to tell him, to say what she needed to without sounding like a complete idiot.

“Nat,” she began, and then paused. He was already mad at her. She had to this this correctly. What if she said the wrong thing? Natural reflexes had her trying to look over at him in an effort to gauge his reaction, however her instinct was to keep her eyes fixed on the wall. Just this small part was a struggle.

Letting out a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding, she started again, “Nat, I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I, I honestly didn’t mean to. I mean, it wasn’t planned, I wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude to you.” She could hear herself start to veer off onto a tangent that would lead to her babbling.

Alyssa paused again, refocused her gaze on that one fleck of dirt she had found on the wall, took a breath and tried again. “I have to tell you something, and I know you’re not going to be happy with me. It’s…I’ve been nervous about it all day. And I was so on edge that I,” she felt tears coming to her eyes, “I snapped at you, that sounds so stupid, I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid.”

She began to cry and it surprised her that, unlike pretty much all the other times, Nat didn’t come and take her into his arms. When she had stopped crying and had calmed herself down she listened and could hear him washing the dishes as he had been just a few minutes prior.

“Are you going to say anything?” Alyssa asked him, tentatively, still not looking over at him.

“Yes,” she heard him reply. His voice sounded….normal. He didn’t sound angry. Though she had known him to be angry lots of times and sound perfectly normal. “I’m waiting for you to tell me what it is that is going on with you, that’s all,” he continued.

That’s right, her brain reminded her. You still haven’t told him. Now Alyssa really felt dumb. She had managed to work herself into tears and she hadn’t even gotten to her main point. Not only that, but she had started crying and now she wanted Nat to be there, holding her, and he wasn’t going to be.

Nat could practically hear her mind working. This was a new scenario for the both of them. In all honesty he wasn’t sure how it would turn out. But she had expressed that she wasn’t going to be able to tell him what it was that was bothering her when he was sitting directly across from her, so he had moved to the sink and engaged himself in an activity to give her the space.

While she had worked herself into a fit of anxiety that led to her crying, and he normally would have been over there in a heartbeat, holding her and brushing away her tears, he wasn’t going to then get back up and go back to giving her distance for her to tell him what was bothering her.

She was so quiet when she said it that he almost didn’t hear her. But, after a lengthy pause, she very softly said, “I fell behind in my school stuff again.”

He certainly understood why she had been nervous, and she was correct in that he was not at all happy about what she told him. Removing his hands from the water, he wiped off the soap suds on a dish towel before going over to the table and having a seat in the chair he had vacated a few moments earlier.

“Look at me,” he said to her, keeping his tone gentle. When she turned to face him he saw the tear stains running down her face and the pain, fear and angst in her eyes. “It’s understandable why you were anxious earlier,” he began, watching her carefully. While she didn’t look away as he expected her to, she blinked rapidly a few times indicating that she was holding back tears.

“Now that you’ve told me what you were feeling, what was causing your anxiety,” Nat continued slowly, carefully thinking out what he wanted to say, “I can better understand why you snapped at me like you did. I thanked you earlier for your apology.”

He noted that the word ‘apology’ caught Lyssa’s attention. “After taking that small amount of time, I’m can fully accept your apology, now, and I forgive you for speaking to me the way you did earlier.”

Knowing her as he did, Nat knew that she wanted a hug. So, he held out his arm to her in an inviting gesture and Alyssa sprang out of her chair and practically flew into his embrace. It still threw him sometimes, just how fragile she was.

On the outside Alyssa did not have a personality that one would think came with the labeling ‘Fragile, Handle with Care’. But she very much did. Things like the need to be forgiven for just snapping at someone, hearing the words, knowing that her apology had been accepted. All of those things mattered such a great deal to her.

Instead of releasing her from the hug, as he was sitting, and she was enveloped in his arms, standing, which put them at about the same height, Nat lifted her up and set her on his lap, pulling her in close.

“Thank you for forgiving me,” he heard her say from somewhere down in his chest where she had attempted to bury herself.

He just chuckled, “always,” he replied. “Now, we need to talk about your school.” The groan that one statement caused made him want to laugh louder than anything had in the past month. “What is going on with you?”

He felt her shift on his lap and move to sit up a bit before she said, “I fell behind. I told you.”

“Yes,” he replied. “You did tell me that. But this isn’t a one-time thing, Alyssa. It happens over and over, which leads me to believe that there is something else causing it.”

“What do you mean,” she responded, “I didn’t do the work, I was doing work stuff, and going out and having fun, and hanging out with friends and…”

Nat gave her a look that he knew would silence her.

“In the past week you’ve been hanging out with friends, going out and having fun?” Nat questioned, his eyebrow raised telling her that he didn’t believe her. Alyssa hoped that question was rhetorical because she was selecting the option to keep her mouth shut.

“And weren’t you telling me earlier that you had a lot of extra time this week at work?” Again with the look. It made her want to squirm, it was like being examined under super bright lights.
“Alyssa,” Nat said, his voice had an edge to it that time which meant he wanted an answer.

“Um, well,” she began, starting to look down at her lap. He caught hold of her chin and lifted her head back up so that wasn’t an option. “Can’t you just spank me,” she finally asked him. “Please?”