Memories, Chapter 1 (M / F, somewhat long)

[beguiling]

Every story I've written in the past is about young lovers. Relationships just starting out and new love just starting to grow. At the end of the story, we see them headed off into the sunset, and assume that the couple's love will be strong, and theirs will be a union to last a lifetime. But we never see it, and that got me thinking about that. What about that couple years down the line? Did the relationship work out? Did their love deepen? Did they continue a spanking relationship? Curiosity along those lines prompted this story. I hope you enjoy.

It had been two years since Nick’s death, and Teresa was finally complying with the “suggestions” that her beloved husband had put in his final letter to her. She laughed to herself. After so much time, in her mind she still put that word in quotes. “Suggestions”.

“I suggest you remember what I told you to do, Teresa Marie,” she could hear as if Nick was behind her talking right into her ear. “And I suggest you remember right quick … unless you want to be reminded what the back of your hairbrush feels like.”

Teresa had learned early in their marriage to follow Nick’s “suggestions”. Even now, her bottom clenched as she thought of what his reaction would be if he’d known she had put off complying with his last ones for so long. Not that she’d disagreed with them. Teresa knew Nick was right. She’d just wanted to do it in her own time. She smiled softly, lost in the memory as she wandered, again, through her house. Their house. They’d bought this house the year after their oldest child was born and it felt as though the memories had seeped into the very walls. There was something in every room that reminded Teresa of the overflowing abundance of love this house had felt and seen. And something in every room that reminded her of one of the many ways Nick showed her his intense love for her. Like the living room. Teresa paused in the doorway, staring at the huge armchair that had graced the corner of the room for many years. Before that, it had held a special place in hers and Nick’s bedroom. Teresa grinned, remembering the mild argument with her son, Anthony.

***

“No, Tony. You can’t have the big armchair for your clubhouse. That’s Mommy’s ‘comfort chair’.”

“Don’t you mean comfortable chair, Mama?” chimed in Delaney, the ever precocious.

“No, Laney,” Teresa said. “I love that chair very much, and it gives me comfort. So it’s my ‘comfort chair’.”

***

It had taken a threat of being sent to his room to make Tony accept her word. But he finally had given in. Teresa had never explained to the children the true meaning of the ‘comfort chair’, but they all knew she treasured it. Nick had bought it after Teresa’s first spanking from him in their still young marriage. The following day he’d come home with that chair and lugged it into the bedroom in their apartment. It had barely fit into the small room and, when she just stared at it in confusion, Nick had smiled and sat in the chair, tugging her to sit on his lap and cuddling her while they sat together. “After every spanking, you deserve a little comfort to know that I still love you, Ressa. That I always will. That I spank you because I love you so much. And I need that comfort, too, because I love you no matter what, and it just kills me to cause you pain. I saw this chair today and I bought it. I know we’re saving for the house, babe, but this means a lot, too. I – we – need it.”

Teresa remembered the earnest look in Nick’s eyes, as if he was afraid she’d spurn his gift because of the reminder of the spanking she’d gotten the day before. But she thought it was the sweetest idea he’d had, and cuddled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

Teresa smiled again as she looked at the most recent reincarnation of her chair. It had been re-upholstered many times (even now she shuddered, remembering the horrid avocado green upholstery it wore for that very short time in the early 70s), and fully rebuilt twice. Teresa had simply refused to replace it when the chair had worn out. When the children, now grown and in homes of their own, had bought them new bedroom furniture as an anniversary present, the chair hadn’t fit and it was moved to the living room. Teresa had cried in Nick’s arms that night, thinking that she’d never be able to cuddle in her ‘comfort chair’ again. But Nick just smiled and told her that he’d simply spank her in the living room when she was naughty, and cuddle her there every chance they got. She’d tearfully punched Nick’s arm softly, chiding him for even suggesting she was still “naughty” after all those years … but she didn’t complain a’tall about his decision to cuddle her every chance he could.

That smile still hovering, Teresa slowly rose from her comfort chair, her fingers lingeringly touching it before stepping away. She wandered into Nick’s study, the comfortably dark room seeming to still have his presence permeating it. Teresa walked over to the desk and settled into Nick’s big desk chair, feeling the supple leather holding her. He’d always teased her about “invading his area”, but Teresa knew Nick had never really minded sharing his desk or study. Especially since she took care of creating organization out of his chaos while she worked on the monthly household expenses. When the children were asleep, she’d often bring her mending or needlework or book into the room, and curl up in one of the armchairs, keeping him company while he worked on the latest campaign his boss had assigned him. Teresa looked up at the doorway, as if she could see him coming in even now.

***

“Wife, are you trying to take over again?” he asked, lounging in the doorway with that big grin that seemed to make him even more handsome.

“Oh, you know I could do this job like that,” Teresa sassed, with a snap of her fingers, grinning right back at him.

“You know, that sound always reminds me of something,” Nick started toward the desk – toward her - his grin growing even bigger. “Now what could it remind me of?” As she leapt out of the chair, giggling, he stalked her around his study. Finally catching her, he pulled her up against his chest, enjoying the feel of holding her to him every bit as much as she enjoyed being held.

***

Teresa burst into laughter at that memory. In all of their years together, Nick had loved her laugh. Soft and lilting, he used to tell her it sounded like glass chimes tinkling gently. He didn’t usually have a poetic bent, but Nick could be very romantic when he put himself to it. She leaned back in the chair, her smile hovering at the corners of her mouth, savoring the laughter they’d shared in this room. Her smile didn’t fade, but it became almost nervous – even now – as she remembered other times, as well.

***

“Teresa Marie!” Ressa tensed, and looked up nervously from the bills she’d had spread across Nick’s desk. He only used her middle name when he was very upset with her … and it never boded well for her bottom. That same bottom tingled as he called for her again.

“In-in the study, darling,” she called, hating the nervous stutter. “In your study.” A minute later there he was, his large frame filling the doorway and the tell-tale muscle jumping in his jaw. Teresa felt a tight ball of dread begin to grow in the pit of her stomach as she looked, wide-eyed, up at him.

“Would you care to share with me,” Nick started off with in a calm, deliberate tone that spelled her fate out clearer than words could, “just what it was that you and your friends discussed – planned – during that brunch you absolutely had to attend the other day?”

Teresa’s heart stopped for a brief moment. She wasn’t a bad wife or mother or really a bad person in any way. Not really, and Nick knew it. But she had been what Nick would’ve called a little wild before they were married. She always came up with schemes, and usually managed to pull them off without Nick finding out while they were dating, and even a little while they were engaged. Nick knew, though, that eventually her little games would wind up getting her into real trouble and he’d broken her of the worst of it. Even Nick had to admit Teresa’s wild streak was much smaller but not completely gone as, even after they were married, she would get a wild idea and her sneaky side came out now and again. Nick loved Teresa’s spirit, and that same spirit had helped him to grow, too. But, if he could help it, he wouldn’t ever let her truly risk herself, or do something that she’d regret. And, although she still managed to get away with some of her schemes, sometimes … sometimes the fates would turn against her. Like now. How he found out she didn’t know. She never knew. And it didn’t really matter. Teresa would not lie to him now. Evade, maybe …

“I … when, Nick?” she asked weakly, nervously nibbling her lower lip.

Suddenly, her eyes opened even wider, as Nick stalked into the room and leaned across the desk to loom over her, deliberately intimidating her. “Don’t even try to play games with me, little girl,” he’d rumbled at her. “Answer my question.”

“I-I-I didn’t do anything, Nick. I swear I didn’t!” Teresa cried desperately.

“Answer the question, young lady. What did you talk about?” Nick demanded, and Teresa gave up, tears already forming at the corners of her eyes. She haltingly explained how some of the women had come up with the idea of heading to the next town over for a visit to the spa and they’d invited her. Teresa had pled off, saying that she had to be home when the children got home from school. But since most of the others were stay-at-home mothers as well and had to be home at the same time, it was supposed to be a quick jaunt. Teresa still had hedged until one of her friends had mentioned adding a stop to the trip, and going to the new mall as well. Teresa had known that Nick wouldn’t at all object to her getting some pampering or taking some time for herself. But she also knew that he’d recently found out how much she’d run up the credit cards with her impulse spending, and those bills were a very touchy subject in their house for a while. Touchy enough that Nick had flat-out forbade her going shopping without him for a while. Even for the kids’ school supplies. That new rule was something that Teresa was trying to avoid sharing with this group.

Seeing her embarrassment, Teresa’s true friend Cathy dropped the subject and stopped her friendly teasing, but the other ‘friends’ in the group just goaded Teresa, going so far as to insinuate that she was oppressed by Nick, until she rose to their bait and her pride drove her to agree to everything: the spa, the shopping trip and the expensive lunch. Telling her conscience to hush, Teresa reminded herself that the trip would be the following month, so there would be funds available on the credit cards without raising a major flag. More importantly, Nick would be out of town overnight on business. She told herself that she would only purchase things she absolutely needed, and Nick wouldn’t know and wouldn’t worry. Her conscience wasn’t buying it, but she committed herself to the trip anyway. Those same ‘friends’ helped her in their way, by spending the rest of the brunch cheering Teresa on her liberation from the ogre – as they’d taken to calling Nick – and coming up with ideas on how to hide any of her purchases from him.

Teresa’s conscience had been bugging her steadily worse since that day. She wouldn’t admit it, even to herself, but more than plotting the adventure, she felt wretched about complaining about Nick. He loved her deeply, Teresa knew, and gave her everything he could. She had even called Martha, intending to cancel the plans but, unfortunately for her bottom, however, she hadn’t. Martha had cajoled and teased Teresa, and she’d caved. Again. She also hadn’t told Nick any of it, but he’d found out somehow.

“I’m going to ask you something, Teresa,” Nick had said slowly, “and for the sake of your bottom, it had better be the truth you give me, girl.” He watched as Teresa blanched, but waited for her shaky nod. “you only planned to sneak behind my back this time. Have you ever actually done it? Have you snuck behind my back? Ever? I don’t mean some surprise party kind of idea, so don’t bother to try to use that as a loophole.”

Nick knew the answer, having learned it in the same conversation that he learned about this latest plan. He just didn’t know if Teresa would tell him the truth right then or not. He trusted her, and knew that eventually her conscience would win out. But, when faced with the trouble she knew she had to be in, Nick wondered if she’d be completely honest. With him, and with herself. He had the truth confirmed when she paled still more, and started trembling. But Nick didn’t let her out of it that easy. He kept his face focused on hers and finally she whispered softly, “Yes, Nick.”

“How many times, Teresa?”

“Just the once, Nick. Just once. I swear it was only one time. I …” Teresa’s voice trailed off as she realized there wasn’t anything she could say to excuse her behavior. And they both knew it. She could only hope that Nick didn’t know the details of her trip … and that he wouldn’t ask, and he didn’t. But he didn’t need to. As Nick just stared at her, she broke down and told him everything. Teresa and the same group of friends had gone to the casino. Something Nick had completely forbidden her to do, knowing Teresa’s inability to stand up to those women … and her inability to resist spending. Even Teresa had admitted that, if she ever went to a casino, someone should take away her wedding rings or she’d gamble them away. What was worse in Nick’s mind, though, was that Teresa had looked him in the face and lied to him. She’d told him they were going to the spa in the next town. Ironically, the same spa that she actually was planning to go this time.

“You’re not in trouble for what you’ve planned to do, Teresa,” Nick said, still in that deadly calm voice. “Although I’m thinking it might do you good. But I’ve never punished you for something you hadn’t done – no matter how much planning went into it – and I won’t start now. But you’re in one huge mess for having done it before, young lady. And for not coming to me yourself.” He stared at her for a long minute, letting his words work on her. Then, in a low growl he ordered, “Upstairs, Teresa Marie. Now. And you know where I’ll expect to find you.”

With a sob, Teresa had fled the room, torn between relief to be away from Nick’s dreadful expression and the immediate danger, and the fear she felt, knowing he’d be up soon to ‘deal’ with her.

Soon was entirely too soon for Teresa’s fractured peace of mind. Nick had spent some time before he’d confronted her coming to grips with what he knew, so he hadn’t needed much time to calm down. Mostly, he just wanted to be sure he wasn’t reacting from hurt at some of the things he’d since found out Teresa’d said. So it came that she’d just had time to get upstairs and wash her face – why she bothered she couldn’t have explained, but it was a comfort to her – and put her nose in the only open corner of their bedroom when she heard Nick’s heavy tread on the steps.

She whimpered. Then the soft click of the door closing. Another whimper. Then Nick’s footsteps crossing unhurriedly to the bed and the squeak of the springs as he sat. For a brief moment, hope flared. He hadn’t gone to her vanity for anything. Maybe, just maybe … Then logic spoke up and reminded her that hand spankings were only for when they were playing. Still another whimper. And that if Nick hadn’t brought anything to spank her with, it could only mean that he’d decided that she would bring it to him. This time there was no whimper. Just a low, soft moan.

“Nick,” Teresa started, attempted to talk to him, to explain, and hopefully ease what she knew was coming. It never worked, but that didn’t stop her from trying every time.

“No, Teresa,” came his stern voice. “Not a sound. You’ve got a few more minutes there. Think about how I felt when Jim told me what his wife had told him. All of the horrid things that my wife thought about me. Think about some of the things I heard today about a woman I love more than my life, but who talks as though she doesn’t really care all that much about me. Think about …” But that was as far as he’d gotten. There was no way Nick could be heard over Teresa’s loud bawling, so he didn’t try. He watched for a long moment as she slumped against the wall, sobbing her heart out. And ripping his out, too.

Nick knew she loved him. And he knew she hadn’t truly meant any of the things she’d said. He also knew that all too often, Teresa just didn’t think. She let herself get carried away whenever she spent too much time with that particular group of women: all with too much money, not enough sense, and bored silly with their ‘oh so correct’ marriages. Of them all, Teresa was the only one who’d married for love, and Nick never doubted that love. Her common sense, on the other hand, he had his doubts about.

But she’d cried long enough. And Nick knew it was truly sincere. He stood, crossed to her and swung her small form up into a cradle carry and carried her to the bed. “Shhh, angel,” he whispered. “C’mon, Ressa, leave some salt water for the ocean.” Nick lay back, propping his head on a pillow and stretched Teresa out along beside him, cuddling her to him. Softly he talked, telling her that he loved her and always would. Telling her that he knew she’d never meant the things she’d said, and that he doubted even the women she brunched with believed her. Telling her that even his boss was sometimes envious of how close their relationship was, and how much Nick reveled in that fact. Slowly, very slowly, Teresa calmed. Calmed enough to finally hear him. “I’m not angry about what you said, Ressa. I was hurt, yes. I know you didn’t mean the things you said. You never do, angel girl. But you did say them. So yeah, it hurt. And that’s something I can’t make go away, Ressa. I can’t make it go away for either of us. I guess we’re both gonna hurt about this one a little while. But maybe it’ll help you remember the next time you go out to brunch with the Heartless Gang,” Ressa had calmed enough to grin softly as his nickname for her ‘friends’, stolen from one of their children’s comic books, “that your words can hurt. Okay?”

Ressa nodded her head against his chest and cuddled close to him. Whisper soft, her words floated up to him. “I truly am sorry, Nick. I love you. I really love you. And I’d give anything to take the words back. I would. I …” She started crying again and Nick held her close.

“I know you would, Ressa. That’s why I’m not mad. And that’s why it doesn’t hurt as bad as it could. Because I do know you didn’t mean them. And, well, that’s part of why you’re not getting a sore butt for saying them in the first place.” He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and held her another minute while they both thought. She was just stirring to get up when Nick dropped the bomb again. “And don’t think that means you’re not getting a spanking at all, Teresa Marie. I’m not going to spank you for what you said, or for what you haven’t done yet – or, rather, done at all; you won’t be going on that day trip, young lady. But I am going to blister you for that trip you did take.”

[redzonedefense_F]

This is WONDERFUL, beguiling!

The interplay between them is so heart-felt.

I can't wait to read the next installment!